This quote came up in my life coaching class over the weekend. I’d never heard it before, but the words hit me hard, especially in light of all that is happening in our world and our country right now.
It’s easier sometimes, to be that stationary ship.
You might be stationary because you lack motivation and feel as though you have cement blocks around your feet. Or maybe you feel like you’re slogging through the mud and at some point you can’t find the energy to take that next difficult, muddy step. (I don’t mean to sound dire here, but I feel as though many of you have been here before).
Perhaps you lack motivation because your feeling apathetic. You want to care, you know you should care, but you’ve run out of all of your cares. You gave your last care at breakfast three weeks ago and have been trying to find some cares since then but keep coming up empty.
Or maybe your stuck because you are in a state of analysis paralysis. You’ve literally thought the s*** out of a situation and paralyzed yourself into indecision. You’ve responded to life with the “hang on, let me overthink about that.”
I think it’s also easy to feel like spending cognitive space on something is action. Emotional labor is exhausting. But it’s not action. Now, more than ever, I keep reminding myself thinking isn’t doing. (I need to say that again. Thinking isn’t doing.)
Regardless of the reason, you’re not moving anywhere.
And you’re not going to move anywhere unless you pull up that anchor.
One of the best pieces of advice I ever received in dealing with a major depressive episode many years ago came from a therapist who recommended that I “act against it.” If I felt like doing nothing, then it was incredibly important that I do something.
I remember calling a friend that night and saying “I don’t feel like doing anything but my therapist says I should act against it so do you want to hang out?”
She was obviously flattered by my enthusiasm. (But thankfully understanding and forgiving of my situation).
The most important word in that advice is to act. To move. To do something. Because you can’t go anywhere while you’re standing still. Action breeds motivation. You need to find a way to (if I can squeeze out one more analogy) get out of the harbor.
Which can feel scary, I know. Especially if you don’t have a direction.
If you need help moving, reach out - to a friend - to a partner - to a coach. I know from experience how difficult it can be to ask for help - but I also know how lonely it can feel when you do feel so stuck. If there’s anything we’ve learned in these past few months, it’s that human beings, even the most introverted among us, crave connection.
Regardless of how you do it, it’s time to start moving. Because you cannot steer a stationary ship.