A few months ago I came across a blog post by author Gretchen Rubin in which she discussed the process of writing her own personal commandments. Rubin is the author of five New York Time Bestsellers including “The Happiness Project” (which I’d highly recommend) which is where she introduced the idea of writing your own commandments.
These statements are not tasks or resolutions, but rather over-arching principles by which she tries to live her life.
In some ways I found the task kind of daunting, probably because I grew up Catholic and remember that the commandments were etched in stone (and my mind as part of the Baltimore Catechism…). But I’ve also appreciated the challenge of trying to distill and clarify the values and principles that are most important to me.
Doug and I have written before about the benefit of identifying your personal values. When you can clarify what is most important for you, you then have a filter to run your decisions through; does taking or not taking a particular action align with your values?
That clarity can be helpful.
I’m not quite up to 12 commandments, but I can tell you what I have so far:
1. Be unabashedly, unapologetically (working on that part) and authentically Kim.
2. Slow to speak, quick to listen.
3. Be silly and laugh everyday.
4. Dance like no one’s watching (I’ve gotten much better at this over the years).
5. Act like you’ve been there before.
6. When the student is ready, the teacher will come.
7. Bloom where you’re planted.
8. There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.
9. Don’t procrastinate.
10. hahahahahahaha - just kidding on that last one. I’m still writing this at 10:36 on Tuesday night.
11. See number 3….
Some tips that Rubin offers for coming up with your own list is thinking about phrases that have stuck with you and I have to confess, most of the list above consists of just that. I can’t tell you where I heard the phrase slow to speak, quick to listen, but I initially embraced the concept because I was shy and hesitant to talk.
Now I embrace it because I have been on the receiving end of kind and active listeners, and those have been some of the most powerful interactions I’ve ever had.
Act like you’ve been there before comes from my Dad, who didn’t want any success I had in high school sports to go to my head. Regardless of any successes I’ve had in my life, I’ve always remembered that advice.
Bloom where you planted is my constant reminder that as much as I’d like to pare down my belongings into an Airstream and live on the beach in San Diego, my life is currently in Maine. It’s my reminder to stay in the moment and grow some roots.
Maybe your list has a few favorite quotes - but whatever. you put on the list, make the statements short and sweet, and something that you can easily absorb. I’m going to keep working on mine, and if you tackle this project, I’d love to hear from you too.