I’ll go ahead and take a minute to state the obvious here:
It’s been a weird year.
Despite all of the uncertainty and strangeness that we are all negotiating on a day to day basis, I find something very reassuring and even refreshing about September – it feels like a good time to hit the re-set button, a time to begin that project or new habit or new book that we’ve been putting off all summer.
With that re-set in mind, here are a few andom thoughts as we head into the fall season.
1. Be kind, and listen
“One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.” - Bryant McGill
There are a lot of conflicting opinions about how to handle the situation that we are in, about school, about work, about…everything. We all hear it every day, on the news, in the break room at work, on social media. In fact, the more social media and news outlets that pop up, the easier it is to find a source of news that serves only to reenforce the opinion that we already have.
Which can sometimes mean that when we find ourselves among people with differing thoughts and perspectives, we find ourselves not listening, but waiting for our chance to speak. We are not hearing, we are waiting to be heard. Which leaves little more than a lot of competition for very little listening.
While I don’t always know what to believe, I choose to believe at least one thing:
Everyone out there is doing the best that they can, and the best that they know how to do.
I’m around teachers every day. I’m around my wife, who works in state government for the CDC. I’m around parents and coaches and administrators and retail workers. They are all doing their best.
So I beg of you - be kind. These are not easy times, and there is a lot of suffering.
2. In the moment when we most want to be in control, it’s important to do nothing
In the 1950’s, a few highly trained pilots were attempting to fly at altitudes higher than had ever been achieved. The first pilots to face this challenge responded by frantically trying to stabilize their planes. Unfortunately, the more they did to try to correct the problem, the worse their situations became, and many pilots died in the beginning of these experimental flights.
That is, until one of the pilots, Chuck Yeager, inadvertently found a solution. When his plane lost control, he was knocked unconscious. He came to seven miles later when the plane re-entered the planet’s denser atmosphere where standard navigation could be implemented. As it turns out, the only life-saving response that worked was to take his hands off of the controls and wait.
I don’t need to belabor the point. I’ve written before about the benefit of taking what Buddhists call the Sacred Pause.
There comes a time when life gets really crazy and our instinct is to do more and more and more - and to over-correct and over-correct and keep fidgeting with the controls. But really, our best response might be to stop what we’re doing, step back from the situation, and breathe.
And do nothing.
3. We are resilient
Nineteen years ago, I watched the second tower fall on a black and white t.v. in the small weekly newspaper office where I worked. Tuesdays were the day we put the paper to bed, and I was making my final edits when we heard on the radio that the World Trade Center had been hit. We plugged in the old t.v. and fiddled with the rabbit ears and watched the terror in New York City, and D.C.
And Shanksville, PA where Flight 93 crashed, just 52 miles from my. office. I’ve written before about my experience that day – the shock – the confusion – the way the world absolutely stood still for days.
Sometimes in the midst of difficulty, you are not yet permitted to see the way out. Sometimes, you don’t know exactly what it’s going to take to get through, to get by, to survive.
You know only that you - we - all of us - are resilient. So while we don’t know exactly how we’ll get by - we can be promised, by the experiences of all those who came before us, that we will get by.
Be well.