One night, when I was maybe five or six years old, I woke up in the middle of the night with a sore throat and a fever.
As my mom tucked me back in after a dose of Tylenol, she leaned in and whispered:
“Go back to sleep. The Dukes of Hazzard is on tonight.”
Now I can’t speak for any of you, but Bo and Luke Duke were my jam on a Friday night, back when you couldn’t cue up shows on demand and had to actually wait for a specific day of the week to see it.
I loved everything about the show - I collected their action figures, had three versions of the General Lee, several t-shirts and a massive crush on Bo.
I mean, who didn’t?
*I also remember the theme music to the show Dallas, because the minute that came on, we had to go to bed, and I always wondered who shot JR.
As it turns out, my mom was tapping into a very important emotion that helps to give us the motivation and persistence to keep moving forward, even during difficult times.
Anticipation.
(Cue Carly Simon song..)
Anticipation implies some type of future reward and as humans, we like rewards. The habit loop from Charles Duhigg’s “The Power of Habit”, is cue-routine-reward. There is some type of cue (boredom), that sends us off on a routine (across the hall to your co-worker’s office), which is followed by a reward (your co-worker has chocolate on her desk.)
We’re introduced to the habit loop very early on. I remember that as kids, we looked forward to Sunday mornings, not because of church, but because we visited my grandmother after church and grandma had donuts. Church was the routine, and donuts were the reward.
As human beings, we need things in our future to be excited about and optimistic about. It doesn’t matter if it is something small or trivial in the mind of someone else. What matters is that you have something to help give your mind a positive view for the future.
I actually came across a study in researching this post that found when pathological gamblers were asked to think about a future experience – such as an upcoming vacation – they were better able to curb their impulses and choose long-term gratification over short-term gratification.
One of the reasons 2020 has felt so difficult is that we have little to look forward to. Vacations have been cancelled, sports seasons delayed, activities put off until who knows when. Who knows what the holidays might look like.
So we need to focus on what we can. Sometimes we look forward what we brought for lunch that day. Sometimes it’s donuts on Sundays (I’ve carried that tradition into adulthood). It’s my first cup of hot coffee in the morning, and snuggling with Vinnie when I come home at night (provided he’s actually sleepy).
Take a pen and paper out right now, and make a list of things that you can look forward to. It might take some time and effort, but you’ll be glad that you did.