I don't know about anyone else, but I've been waging a war on myself from day one. I think it started in kindergarten when Lisa Ivory made E.T. out of Legos and I was left holding my creation; 12 Legos cleverly stacked one on top of another to make...well...a stack of legos stacked on top of each other.
Engineering was out from the start.
The war hit it's peak in middle school when I went through that delightful part of developmental psychology that caused me to be hyper-aware of everyone else. And so began the years of comparing myself to the girls that had style (they wore clothes from Benetton and Espirit and carried acid washed purses), were good at math, and knew how to fix their hair. I had hair, but what to do with it was beyond me.
The story goes on and on - and while everyone's is different - so many of us share a common thread: we wouldn't talk to our worst enemy the way we sometimes talk to ourselves.
Maybe it's surrounding our food choices.
"I shouldn't have had ice cream."
Or our workout.
"I should have run faster or further."
Or our workday.
"I should have been more productive."
Relationships with ourselves and with food and exercise are very complex. I had a client once who knew she should cut down on her consumption of white bread and bagels, which she ate on a daily basis. As it turns out, when she was younger her father would forget to feed her and her sister sometimes and white bread was often all there was in the house. That's a very complicated relationship.
Accountability is important, perhaps the most important piece of achieving goals, regardless of what they are. But negative self-talk isn't accountability. Cruelty to yourself isn't accountability.
Celebrate yourself. Breathe. Pay attention to your emotions. Pay attention to your choices.
And call a truce with yourself. For an hour. For a day. For a week.