Last week at the gym I walked in on a discussion amongst clients about their five pillars of happiness.
Immediately after that conversation, the song "Love Will Keep us Together" by Captain and Tennille came on.
As is often the case when I hear a song that I've forgotten about, I can't contain myself. Before I knew it, I was letting the dance moves fly to one of the hokiest duos from the seventies.
Yes, I said. Yes. Captain and Tennille is a pillar of my happiness.
My co-worker and clients were staring. If you only get five, they asked, is this really one of them?
So it got me thinking, I mean really thinking, about what my five pillars of happiness are. And why it's important to even have some pillars of happiness. Because knowing and understanding what makes you happy can better help you make decisions about what you do with your time.
And maybe, what not to do with our time.
So with that in mind, here are my five pillars of happiness:
Family & Community
The past two years have been filled with loss and the inevitable shrinking of my family. I made a decision to live far away from my immediate family, but it doesn’t mean family is any less important to me. (If you ever want to know who hung the moon I’ll save you time. It was my dad.) I’m fortunate that I’ve got f-ramily (friends who are family), and I’m fortunate to have good relationships with many family members. I’m also immensely fortunate to have a person in Sheila who understands me, loves me unconditionally, and puts up with my ever-increasing collection of shoes and hats…and shoes…
Creativity and being ridiculous
Happiness is creating. Whether it’s horrible car karaoke videos singing Englebert Humperdink (I usually reserve these for Sheila), writing blog posts, or making up songs on my guitar, I am happiest when I carve out some space to be creative. (Also wearing inflatable unicorn costumes and dancing the conga whenever the mood strikes.)
Music
If you’ve ever been in the gym when a really good song comes on (or my version of that) well, then you know what that looks like. I get my groove on like it’s my job.
I have a vinyl collection that I love because vinyl, but also because it reminds so much of my folks. Music has been a big part of my life ever since I can remember. My mom was always listening to our giant Zenith floor stereo when I was a kid, and my dad was forever quizzing us about songs on the radio when we were in the car. And when we weren't listening to music, my dad was often playing it on his guitar, a hobby that I adopted for myself in college. Playing it, listening to it, talking about it - music is a happy place for me.
Which might make this next one seem odd….
Quiet and solitude
I’m an introvert. No matter how extroverted I can be for my job, and no matter how much I do, indeed, love music - I absolutely, unequivocally, on a daily basis, need quiet and time to myself. The most liberating insight I’ve had as an adult was taking the Meyers Briggs Test in college and understanding where my energy comes from, and what I need to recharge myself on a daily and weekly basis.
Animals
Specifically, yes, Rooney. I don't think I need to go on and on about how my basset hound is pretty much the best dog ever and how he is my entertainment, my comfort, and my companion when I do things and nothing. If you've been following my work for any length of time, then you know he's my logo, he's my buddy, and he's my heart.
But it's not just Rooney. I love most any dogs (bassets are best), cats who act like dogs and also, though I seldom have talked about it, fish. I used to have an aquarium when I was in my teens, and I loved to just watch them swim. Because, you know - quiet.
I would list self-knowledge as a pillar of happiness, but I think that self-knowledge and self-reflection and self-understanding are amongst are a pillar of happiness, but then that would be six, and nothing comes in sixes.
But the more time you spend getting to know yourself, the better equipped you’ll be to make choices that are in line what what’s important to you. And one of the best things you can to help motivate yourself is make sure that the activities you are doing are in line with those pillars of happiness.
Actually baseball belongs on this list, but you’ve got work you’re ignoring while I read this, so…get back to it.