“I just can’t get out of my own way.”
If I had a nickel for every time a client said this, I’d probably just have a lot of parking meter change, because the price of a dollar has dropped significantly since this phrase first originated.
But, I digress.
I hear this expression often, or some version of it, wherein a client identifies herself or himself as their own worst problem.
Years ago when I was getting ready to graduate from college and panicking about what I would do for a living, I said to a professor that I was my own worst problem.
“It’s me. I’m the problem.”
But you’re also you’re own solution.
It’s been 18 years since I had that conversation with him, and while I thought he was full of it at the time, I’ve also come to realize that…shock of all shockers…he was right.
Hey Dr. Finnegan, if you’re reading this, you were right.
It’s so easy to hyper-focus on self-blame. It’s easy to find fault with everything that we do, but also to assume that the solution to whatever problems we are experiencing lies with some wise old sage at the top of the mountain.
I’m totally open to going to see said sage. If you know of one.
In the meantime though, the solutions are within us. They are not always obvious. And they are not always easy to find. I had the good fortune to hear Oprah speak at Smith College commencement over the weekend, and she advised the graduates to be still.
Maybe it’s not meditation - maybe it’s a long walk or some time alone on the beach.
Be still and listen. And trust that you are not the problem. You’re the solution.